Archive for life

it’s so damn hot i’m seeing polka dots!

Posted in culture, life, travel with tags , , , , , , , on July 12, 2009 by megan

well i am sure that you have all been anxiously wringing your hands in anticipation of the next morsel of entertainment from your cursed heroes abroad, and i can speak for the whole of the prime directive when i say, sorry for any pee in your panties but i do hope you  enjoyed the mounting suspense. i believe we last left off on some island in thailand and from there we jumped to…another island in thailand. ko chang, to be exact, by way of another fine recommendation from a certain j. winston, which neatly moved us easternly towards the forever fated land of cambodge. we found ourselves in a well suited ewok bungalow village, where each leaning tower came with a complimentary outdoor shower and shitter sideorder. after weeks of being minorly adrift looking for the perfect beach/ocean combination, our mission appeared completed, and much more so than the last public use of that phrase. Continue reading

no jambo road

Posted in culture, life, travel with tags , , , , , on June 9, 2009 by megan

there are understandably countless ways to describe an african experience, so as an act of self-defense a traveler may often find story specifics as the best tall tale guide. i, however, have picked the cliches of cliches upon which to focus, the inarguable personal kenyan ‘feeling,’ which we have now packed up and brought along with us. i would like to liken our life there to the sand that hides in the elastics of your underwear, the tiny remnants that cling to you as you change on the beach after a day in the sun. it is that sand that irritates you, rubs you, and continues to remind you through the rest of the day that it is not only there, but that you are there and just spent the day alive and happy to own your particular set of feet on this particular planet. and what’s even more exciting is that tomorrow is indeed another day. Continue reading

why camels are decent mobiles

Posted in culture, life, travel with tags , , , , , , on May 10, 2009 by megan

i would like to take this opportunity to discuss 3 overland transportation options and outcomes as a sovereign stranger in egypt. waterways have already been adequately addressed, as alex explained the absurd ping pong approach to sailing that we experienced, so we will move on to more familiar and ordinary modes. cars and their variants, as we spoilt westerners know them, are valuable and expedient; even those publically provided ones work better than walking. but, for some reason, in some places, this fact is fictitious in the fullest. Continue reading

“you would like to buy dancing camel?”

Posted in life, travel with tags , , , , , , on April 19, 2009 by abuttercup

…asked the adorably filthy little urchin. “no, I don’t want no damn camel” i huffed. “i’ve already been shanghaied by a man on a camel once today, and i haven’t quite gotten over it, thank you.” he raised the stuffed camel to my face misinterpreting my excitement and demonstrated how the camel moved its head back and forth. Immensely unimpressed, i decided ignoring him was a much better tactic and turned to my immediate left to gaze upon a four thousand year old structure shaped like a kitty with a man head. or a woman head. to be perfectly honest, i found it to be rather androgynous, and not like in a cool and mysterious glam-rock david bowie sort of way, but actually more in the way that you just feel awkward not knowing whether to refer to it as a he or she for fear of ridicule. i’m referring, of course, to the beautiful limestone monument known as the sphinx which you likely remember from the famous magic carpet ride sequence in the hit disney movie, Aladdin, starring gilbert gottfried. it seemed to me that the shared sentiment of the others in my company was that the sphinx was a lot smaller in person than they had expected. i, however, felt that Aladdin gave me an excellent idea of the relative size of the stone beast, and thus stood humbled, but unsurprised. Continue reading

romancing the stone

Posted in life, travel with tags , on April 16, 2009 by megan

why hello again dear readers, and welcome back. since last embarrassing (yes, ASSing) post, we have bussed, boated, and booted the 4 p’s into place. well sort of, like the way ¾s of the right test answers get you a solid C. either way, we definitely saw some green things, rocky things, and old shit. lots of old shit. from lots of bus windows. too many bus windows in fact, and i’m not just saying that because of my current, uh, SITuational handicap; yea, the bum bum hurts but the busses get boring. so let me begin the end of our irish tale, where the magical mr. mazer did not even start. Continue reading

my spidey sense is tingling!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on April 11, 2009 by abuttercup

day 12 damage report: i’d like to take this opportunity to speak openly and honestly with you about the horrible lump on megan’s ass. there’s been a lot of speculation, some he-said-she-said and even some disturbing rumors floating around the mill and i think i had better clear them up before she wakes up and has the opportunity to stop me.  first and foremost, in the words of my favorite austrian, body-building governer and star of the hit movie, Junior, “IT’S NOT A TUMOR!”.  actually, i’m fairly certain at this point that it’s a spider bite. and to my extreme disappointment, it doesn’t seem to be the kind of spider bite that gives you the ability to cling to walls, the proportionate strength of a spider or heightened spider-senses. at least yet… i’ve been routinely sneaking up and dousing her with buckets of freezing cold rain water to see if the old spidey-sense has kicked in. it hasn’t. as of yet the only thing the bite has resulted in is a sore bum. Continue reading

portrait of a preliminary pickled-pepper post

Posted in humor, life, travel with tags , , on April 6, 2009 by megan

there is nothing wrong with your computer. do not attempt to adjust your  monitor.  we are controlling transmission. you are about to participate in a great adventure. you are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to… here: our misanthropic, meddlesome, misadventurous mirage of mindful meditations.

“what?” you ask. forgive us this unnecessary, righteous, wordy alliteration and sci-fi** quotation in order to indulge with us for but a moment. the first blog post is a hella important one.  it sets the pace, themes, voice and faithfulness of the audience. so whether we gain or lose you, dear reader, this allows us our one demonstrative glory moment, during which (if we play our cards right) you are curious and captivated and at least a little bit intrigued. it’s all about the ratings. Continue reading