Archive for the life Category

dear diary…

Posted in culture, humor, life, travel with tags , , , , , on October 19, 2009 by abuttercup

…it’s been a hot minute since last we spoke, so forgive me if i take a moment to change and settle into my pleated, high fastening blogger pants while i get on down to brass tacks. now as i’m sure all you avid readers have noticed, i’ve been trying some new and controversial methods of blogging the past few entries to boost ratings and draw new readers. obviously its been working considering the obscene plethora of fan mail that’s currently taking over my poor secretary’s desk. and as flattered as i am, i’m more appalled by the fatuous impracticality of my readers expressing their adoration via the postal service when there are perfectly usable comment fields below in which to gush. kids these days. Continue reading

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Laos Def Poetry Jam

Posted in culture, humor, life, travel with tags , , , , on September 3, 2009 by abuttercup

they call me cardboard ’cause of the way i breaks it down.

♣   ♥   ♦

come gather ’round, chillun, and have ye a listen,

to my lyrical precision, watch my very prose glisten.

as i christen this edition of the prime directive mission,

it’s imperative this narrative speaks true to my ambition.

Continue reading

it’s so damn hot i’m seeing polka dots!

Posted in culture, life, travel with tags , , , , , , , on July 12, 2009 by megan

well i am sure that you have all been anxiously wringing your hands in anticipation of the next morsel of entertainment from your cursed heroes abroad, and i can speak for the whole of the prime directive when i say, sorry for any pee in your panties but i do hope you  enjoyed the mounting suspense. i believe we last left off on some island in thailand and from there we jumped to…another island in thailand. ko chang, to be exact, by way of another fine recommendation from a certain j. winston, which neatly moved us easternly towards the forever fated land of cambodge. we found ourselves in a well suited ewok bungalow village, where each leaning tower came with a complimentary outdoor shower and shitter sideorder. after weeks of being minorly adrift looking for the perfect beach/ocean combination, our mission appeared completed, and much more so than the last public use of that phrase. Continue reading

no jambo road

Posted in culture, life, travel with tags , , , , , on June 9, 2009 by megan

there are understandably countless ways to describe an african experience, so as an act of self-defense a traveler may often find story specifics as the best tall tale guide. i, however, have picked the cliches of cliches upon which to focus, the inarguable personal kenyan ‘feeling,’ which we have now packed up and brought along with us. i would like to liken our life there to the sand that hides in the elastics of your underwear, the tiny remnants that cling to you as you change on the beach after a day in the sun. it is that sand that irritates you, rubs you, and continues to remind you through the rest of the day that it is not only there, but that you are there and just spent the day alive and happy to own your particular set of feet on this particular planet. and what’s even more exciting is that tomorrow is indeed another day. Continue reading

why camels are decent mobiles

Posted in culture, life, travel with tags , , , , , , on May 10, 2009 by megan

i would like to take this opportunity to discuss 3 overland transportation options and outcomes as a sovereign stranger in egypt. waterways have already been adequately addressed, as alex explained the absurd ping pong approach to sailing that we experienced, so we will move on to more familiar and ordinary modes. cars and their variants, as we spoilt westerners know them, are valuable and expedient; even those publically provided ones work better than walking. but, for some reason, in some places, this fact is fictitious in the fullest. Continue reading

backsheesh and other bothersome burdens

Posted in culture, life, travel with tags , , on April 27, 2009 by megan

incident report day 27: alex has a blister on his right foot, and believes the protective athletic tape makes his foot look kung fu cool.

oh no, you might gasp, his precious, blockish, pedis! we’ve certainly tested the strength of our first aid kit these first few weeks, but it has not been in vain. cairo is a city for walkers and gawkers, but not for the weak-kneed or club footed, as there are no safe street crossings only successful ones. death we have defied many a time, once the local advice of ‘close your eyes and pray to allah’ really sunk in. while cabs are not expensive in USD terms, the process of haggling and inevitably being ripped off really drags on a gung-ho mood. a taxi dependent foreigner has 2 choices: exit the car into oncoming traffic and drop a wad of money on the passenger seat and run, or ask a price, agree on a price, and still find yourself standing outside of the cab as the driver jumps out to scream at you in arabic. it’s at that point that i generally leave alex standing ineffectual and walletless in the street. Continue reading

“you would like to buy dancing camel?”

Posted in life, travel with tags , , , , , , on April 19, 2009 by abuttercup

…asked the adorably filthy little urchin. “no, I don’t want no damn camel” i huffed. “i’ve already been shanghaied by a man on a camel once today, and i haven’t quite gotten over it, thank you.” he raised the stuffed camel to my face misinterpreting my excitement and demonstrated how the camel moved its head back and forth. Immensely unimpressed, i decided ignoring him was a much better tactic and turned to my immediate left to gaze upon a four thousand year old structure shaped like a kitty with a man head. or a woman head. to be perfectly honest, i found it to be rather androgynous, and not like in a cool and mysterious glam-rock david bowie sort of way, but actually more in the way that you just feel awkward not knowing whether to refer to it as a he or she for fear of ridicule. i’m referring, of course, to the beautiful limestone monument known as the sphinx which you likely remember from the famous magic carpet ride sequence in the hit disney movie, Aladdin, starring gilbert gottfried. it seemed to me that the shared sentiment of the others in my company was that the sphinx was a lot smaller in person than they had expected. i, however, felt that Aladdin gave me an excellent idea of the relative size of the stone beast, and thus stood humbled, but unsurprised. Continue reading