Archive for the humor Category

dear diary…

Posted in culture, humor, life, travel with tags , , , , , on October 19, 2009 by abuttercup

…it’s been a hot minute since last we spoke, so forgive me if i take a moment to change and settle into my pleated, high fastening blogger pants while i get on down to brass tacks. now as i’m sure all you avid readers have noticed, i’ve been trying some new and controversial methods of blogging the past few entries to boost ratings and draw new readers. obviously its been working considering the obscene plethora of fan mail that’s currently taking over my poor secretary’s desk. and as flattered as i am, i’m more appalled by the fatuous impracticality of my readers expressing their adoration via the postal service when there are perfectly usable comment fields below in which to gush. kids these days. Continue reading

Laos Def Poetry Jam

Posted in culture, humor, life, travel with tags , , , , on September 3, 2009 by abuttercup

they call me cardboard ’cause of the way i breaks it down.

♣   ♥   ♦

come gather ’round, chillun, and have ye a listen,

to my lyrical precision, watch my very prose glisten.

as i christen this edition of the prime directive mission,

it’s imperative this narrative speaks true to my ambition.

Continue reading

this isn’t ‘nam, smokey, there are rules.

Posted in culture, humor, travel with tags , , , on July 27, 2009 by abuttercup

this morning as megan and i were leaving our room, we became abruptly aware that something was slightly amiss. it wasn’t the foggy haze in the hallway, nor the crisp aroma of kerosene gently beckoning at my nostrils that warranted my concern so much as the strange man in the black motorcycle helmet wielding the flaming broom. alarms and whistles sounded in my head, replacing what had seconds before been jubilant, anthropomorphous images of dancing muffins, fried eggs and sausage links. ‘WRONG’ my mind told me as i gaped, entirely void of comprehension at the masked man and his broom that was quite literally blazing with sizable orange flames. finding myself unable to let the apathetic grog of pre-breakfast a.m. (did i mention it was morning?) allow me to remain ignorant to this most surreal of good-mornings, i calculated it would be best to investigate the matter. “what are you doing?” i demanded, more calmly than i had anticipated. the anonymous keeper of the demonic sweeper lifted the visor on his helmet to look at me as though i were the crazy one for posing such a ridiculous query. but after a thoughtful moment of careful consideration, he proudly and enthusiastically proclaimed ” i don’t know.” he flipped the visor down as megan and i exchanged semi-exasperated but satisfied shrugs, silently agreeing that the pursuing this investigation was a fool’s errand. moreover, we supposed that there was a halfway decent chance that our hostel would not, in fact, be a smoldering ash pile upon our return, in addition to the irrefutable fact that our breakfast certainly wasn’t just going to eat itself. Continue reading

no touch monkey

Posted in culture, humor, travel with tags , , , , on June 24, 2009 by abuttercup

-previously on The Prime Directive-

-previously on The Prime Directive

when last we left our lionhearted heroes, they were careening furiously down rock-clustered rapids of crashing white water with little more than a pair of poorly battered paddles and their scattered wits about them.

“we’re headed straight for that rock!” the cute one cried to the hairy one.

(at this point, I urge you to click this link and press the “play” button for dramatic effect.)

stay tuned for the dramatic conclusion of this week’s The Prime Directive. Continue reading

portrait of a preliminary pickled-pepper post

Posted in humor, life, travel with tags , , on April 6, 2009 by megan

there is nothing wrong with your computer. do not attempt to adjust your  monitor.  we are controlling transmission. you are about to participate in a great adventure. you are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to… here: our misanthropic, meddlesome, misadventurous mirage of mindful meditations.

“what?” you ask. forgive us this unnecessary, righteous, wordy alliteration and sci-fi** quotation in order to indulge with us for but a moment. the first blog post is a hella important one.  it sets the pace, themes, voice and faithfulness of the audience. so whether we gain or lose you, dear reader, this allows us our one demonstrative glory moment, during which (if we play our cards right) you are curious and captivated and at least a little bit intrigued. it’s all about the ratings. Continue reading