Archive for April, 2009

inevitable diarrhea blahg post. OR…captain’s log.

Posted in travel on April 30, 2009 by abuttercup

it can be difficult to describe whether the world begins to feel bigger or smaller when you become more comfortable in a place that is otherwise foreign to you. different than playing the “oh you’re from jersey? do you know my boy, G?” name game with douchebag tourists from whogivesashitwhere, you begin to feel overwhelmed and awestruck by how big the world is and how many people, for good or for bad, we really do share it with. after one nomadic month i now have facebook friends from jordan, france, switzerland, austrailia and egypt. “nice going mr. ambassador, way to have more facebook friends,” you undoubtedly and predictably jest. good one, but allow me to make like a cardboard box and break it down, yo. this very evening i found myself on a wonderful pillow-strewn rooftop in luxor*, drinking beers, playing shithead, sharing laughs and listening to phish as i enjoyed an ethereal middle-eastern sunset. while the majority of my previous sentence no doubt surprises few of you, the delightful new idiosyncrasies supplemented to the usual crap can really give you a fresh perspective. Continue reading

backsheesh and other bothersome burdens

Posted in culture, life, travel with tags , , on April 27, 2009 by megan

incident report day 27: alex has a blister on his right foot, and believes the protective athletic tape makes his foot look kung fu cool.

oh no, you might gasp, his precious, blockish, pedis! we’ve certainly tested the strength of our first aid kit these first few weeks, but it has not been in vain. cairo is a city for walkers and gawkers, but not for the weak-kneed or club footed, as there are no safe street crossings only successful ones. death we have defied many a time, once the local advice of ‘close your eyes and pray to allah’ really sunk in. while cabs are not expensive in USD terms, the process of haggling and inevitably being ripped off really drags on a gung-ho mood. a taxi dependent foreigner has 2 choices: exit the car into oncoming traffic and drop a wad of money on the passenger seat and run, or ask a price, agree on a price, and still find yourself standing outside of the cab as the driver jumps out to scream at you in arabic. it’s at that point that i generally leave alex standing ineffectual and walletless in the street. Continue reading

“you would like to buy dancing camel?”

Posted in life, travel with tags , , , , , , on April 19, 2009 by abuttercup

…asked the adorably filthy little urchin. “no, I don’t want no damn camel” i huffed. “i’ve already been shanghaied by a man on a camel once today, and i haven’t quite gotten over it, thank you.” he raised the stuffed camel to my face misinterpreting my excitement and demonstrated how the camel moved its head back and forth. Immensely unimpressed, i decided ignoring him was a much better tactic and turned to my immediate left to gaze upon a four thousand year old structure shaped like a kitty with a man head. or a woman head. to be perfectly honest, i found it to be rather androgynous, and not like in a cool and mysterious glam-rock david bowie sort of way, but actually more in the way that you just feel awkward not knowing whether to refer to it as a he or she for fear of ridicule. i’m referring, of course, to the beautiful limestone monument known as the sphinx which you likely remember from the famous magic carpet ride sequence in the hit disney movie, Aladdin, starring gilbert gottfried. it seemed to me that the shared sentiment of the others in my company was that the sphinx was a lot smaller in person than they had expected. i, however, felt that Aladdin gave me an excellent idea of the relative size of the stone beast, and thus stood humbled, but unsurprised. Continue reading

romancing the stone

Posted in life, travel with tags , on April 16, 2009 by megan

why hello again dear readers, and welcome back. since last embarrassing (yes, ASSing) post, we have bussed, boated, and booted the 4 p’s into place. well sort of, like the way ¾s of the right test answers get you a solid C. either way, we definitely saw some green things, rocky things, and old shit. lots of old shit. from lots of bus windows. too many bus windows in fact, and i’m not just saying that because of my current, uh, SITuational handicap; yea, the bum bum hurts but the busses get boring. so let me begin the end of our irish tale, where the magical mr. mazer did not even start. Continue reading

my spidey sense is tingling!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on April 11, 2009 by abuttercup

day 12 damage report: i’d like to take this opportunity to speak openly and honestly with you about the horrible lump on megan’s ass. there’s been a lot of speculation, some he-said-she-said and even some disturbing rumors floating around the mill and i think i had better clear them up before she wakes up and has the opportunity to stop me.  first and foremost, in the words of my favorite austrian, body-building governer and star of the hit movie, Junior, “IT’S NOT A TUMOR!”.  actually, i’m fairly certain at this point that it’s a spider bite. and to my extreme disappointment, it doesn’t seem to be the kind of spider bite that gives you the ability to cling to walls, the proportionate strength of a spider or heightened spider-senses. at least yet… i’ve been routinely sneaking up and dousing her with buckets of freezing cold rain water to see if the old spidey-sense has kicked in. it hasn’t. as of yet the only thing the bite has resulted in is a sore bum. Continue reading

portrait of a preliminary pickled-pepper post

Posted in humor, life, travel with tags , , on April 6, 2009 by megan

there is nothing wrong with your computer. do not attempt to adjust your  monitor.  we are controlling transmission. you are about to participate in a great adventure. you are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to… here: our misanthropic, meddlesome, misadventurous mirage of mindful meditations.

“what?” you ask. forgive us this unnecessary, righteous, wordy alliteration and sci-fi** quotation in order to indulge with us for but a moment. the first blog post is a hella important one.  it sets the pace, themes, voice and faithfulness of the audience. so whether we gain or lose you, dear reader, this allows us our one demonstrative glory moment, during which (if we play our cards right) you are curious and captivated and at least a little bit intrigued. it’s all about the ratings. Continue reading